Recently I unpacked a box of towels. To be specific, one of our boxes of towels. Imagine my surprise while packing to discover that all of our towels don't fit into one moving box. We seem to have a lot of towels.
Now, I don't know how many towels the average family has. And I haven't counted ours to know how many we actually have. But we have the towels we got as wedding presents from our registry, the towels we got as wedding presents that weren't on our registry, the towels Staffan had before we were married, and the towels I had before we were married. Then of course there are other categories of towels, like beach towels and baby hooded towels, and so forth.
The overwhelming majority of our towels are blue. We registered for different shade of blue towels when we got married. The towels Staffan had before we were married were also blue. The towels that I had before we were married were green. I only had a few. After all, how many towels does one person need? You use one for a week or so, throw it in the laundry, and assuming you do laundry about once a week, the first towel is back when it's time to wash the second one. By this logic, it's reasonable to have about 3 towels per person... in case laundry gets delayed or you want to pack a clean one for a trip or something like that. Add a few extras for when guests come, and it seems reasonable for our family of 3 to have no more than 15 towels.
As I was unpacking all these towels and realizing we have more than we need, I decided it was time to get rid of a few towels. The most obvious candidates were the green ones that don't match any of the others. We never even use them because they don't match. So I set them aside and started putting the assorted blue towels in the linen closet. And yet, the whole time, I keep looking at this small pile of green towels. It's bothering me that they're sitting there. They're still in great shape. What difference does it make what color they are if they get you dry? Guest towels don't have to match the bathroom, and maybe a different color makes it easier to tell whose is whose. By the time the blue towels were stacked in the closet, I was rearranging to create more space and in went the green towels too.
What a small step in the right direction it would've been to give away 4 towels that we never use. And yet there they sit right this moment in my linen closet. Like they've done for the past 9 years, occasionally coming out to take up space in a moving box to be moved to a new linen closet. So why does it bother me so much to give them away?
Monday, June 13, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Un-simple Moving :(
We recently moved. About a week ago, actually. And the experience reminded me of why I started this little blog in the first place. It also reminded me that it's been about 9 months since I've updated it, which is pathetic really. Not because I'm out to become the world's most prolific blogger or that I think anyone is really following it, but because the intent was to accomplish something and sadly I have made little progress toward my goals. This is not a time, though, to spiral into shame and self-blame, but to reevaluate and begin again.
We hired a moving company to transport our worldly possessions, and based on their averages and experience, they estimated that a family the size of ours moving from an apartment the size of ours would need about 30 cubic meters. (Don't worry if you don't know how much a cubic meter is, you don't need to to understand my point.) We loaded the truck with a little over 40 cubic meters. Granted, the company changed our time at the last minute and our final packing was done hastily, and in many cases not even by us. We probably could have packed smaller given more time. I probably would've found more things to give/throw away if I had been packing things myself. But still, it was enlightening to find out that we are living with about 33% more stuff than the average comparable family.
The other thing about moving is the direct confrontation with the reality of how much stuff we have. Packing it, loading it, moving it, unpacking it, and finding new homes for all the "stuff". I haven't liked what I've seen these past few weeks and I'm determined all over again to do something about it. I am once again motivated to de-clutter life - our stuff, our time and commitments, etc - and be more intentional about how I really want to live. I hope to take up this poor, dormant blog again as a part of this effort. More to come soon...
We hired a moving company to transport our worldly possessions, and based on their averages and experience, they estimated that a family the size of ours moving from an apartment the size of ours would need about 30 cubic meters. (Don't worry if you don't know how much a cubic meter is, you don't need to to understand my point.) We loaded the truck with a little over 40 cubic meters. Granted, the company changed our time at the last minute and our final packing was done hastily, and in many cases not even by us. We probably could have packed smaller given more time. I probably would've found more things to give/throw away if I had been packing things myself. But still, it was enlightening to find out that we are living with about 33% more stuff than the average comparable family.
The other thing about moving is the direct confrontation with the reality of how much stuff we have. Packing it, loading it, moving it, unpacking it, and finding new homes for all the "stuff". I haven't liked what I've seen these past few weeks and I'm determined all over again to do something about it. I am once again motivated to de-clutter life - our stuff, our time and commitments, etc - and be more intentional about how I really want to live. I hope to take up this poor, dormant blog again as a part of this effort. More to come soon...
Friday, September 17, 2010
Progress!
Today I got to spend a little over an hour uninterrupted (my husband took my daughter for a walk) trying to improve our worst room... the room that taunts me with it's piles, risk of important stuff being lost or destroyed, overflowing closets, etc. The room used to be a combination office (since I work from home) and guest room, which means everything ended up there. Now it's main use is as my daughter's room.
I hate that she can't play in there because it's not safe. It bothers me that when she lies awake in her crib playing and studying the world, she's studying chaos. But, since most days the only time I can do chores is when she's sleeping in there, it's been impossible to do much about it.
An hour is not going to make it all better in there, but I did make a little dent. I accomplished my goal of making it safe to turn on the heater (cleaning out/moving away flammable stuff that's too close to it) making some space around it to let the heat get into the rest of the room, and getting physically close enough to the heater to reach the knob and turn it on. It's bad enough to provide a chaotic and messy environment for my daughter to sleep in, but now that it's fall, it's been a little chilly in there. Winter's right around the corner - she will have heat.
Every time I do this type of cleaning, I keep repeating the same thoughts over and over... why on earth do I have this/did I keep this? oh, that's where that is! I've been looking for that! And of course: hmmm, what should I do with this? I'll put it in the 'find a home for this later' pile.
Oh well. Tonight I will focus on the good feeling of having made progress in the right direction... however small.
I hate that she can't play in there because it's not safe. It bothers me that when she lies awake in her crib playing and studying the world, she's studying chaos. But, since most days the only time I can do chores is when she's sleeping in there, it's been impossible to do much about it.
An hour is not going to make it all better in there, but I did make a little dent. I accomplished my goal of making it safe to turn on the heater (cleaning out/moving away flammable stuff that's too close to it) making some space around it to let the heat get into the rest of the room, and getting physically close enough to the heater to reach the knob and turn it on. It's bad enough to provide a chaotic and messy environment for my daughter to sleep in, but now that it's fall, it's been a little chilly in there. Winter's right around the corner - she will have heat.
Every time I do this type of cleaning, I keep repeating the same thoughts over and over... why on earth do I have this/did I keep this? oh, that's where that is! I've been looking for that! And of course: hmmm, what should I do with this? I'll put it in the 'find a home for this later' pile.
Oh well. Tonight I will focus on the good feeling of having made progress in the right direction... however small.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Reminders from Backpacking
My first backpacking trip in 1999 was when I first got excited about the idea of a more simple lifestyle. For those weeks, everything I needed was on my back... simple food, only the basics for clothes and toiletries, etc. Laundry meant rinsing my clothes in a stream and hanging them in the sun. Luxury was coming across a campsite with an outhouse (avoiding a fresh set of mosquito bites in inconvenient places...). I appreciated small luxuries so much more than greater luxuries at home. It made me realize just how freeing it can be to live with a little less.
Not that I want to always live on the bare essentials. But after a short overnight backpacking trip this week, I'm remembering some of what first drew me not only to enjoy backpacking/camping trips but to seek a bit of that kind of simplicity in my everyday life.
I'm thankful to come home to a bed, an indoor flushing toilet, a warm shower and a machine that washes my clothes. I'm thankful for refrigerated/frozen food and so many other small things that I usually take for granted or ignore completely. But I'm also thankful for the chance to get away from all of this and remember how little I actually need on a daily basis, how quiet and uncomplicated life can be, the miracles and beauty of nature... when all I have to do during the day is put one foot in front of another, eat when I'm hungry, drink when I'm thirsty, and pitch a tent when I'm tired.
And even just a short trip to the woods can help me remember what's important, what's necessary, what's reasonable, what's a pleasant luxury, and what is excess in a way that hurts me and others. I think I may need to draw away to the woods more often.
Not that I want to always live on the bare essentials. But after a short overnight backpacking trip this week, I'm remembering some of what first drew me not only to enjoy backpacking/camping trips but to seek a bit of that kind of simplicity in my everyday life.
I'm thankful to come home to a bed, an indoor flushing toilet, a warm shower and a machine that washes my clothes. I'm thankful for refrigerated/frozen food and so many other small things that I usually take for granted or ignore completely. But I'm also thankful for the chance to get away from all of this and remember how little I actually need on a daily basis, how quiet and uncomplicated life can be, the miracles and beauty of nature... when all I have to do during the day is put one foot in front of another, eat when I'm hungry, drink when I'm thirsty, and pitch a tent when I'm tired.
And even just a short trip to the woods can help me remember what's important, what's necessary, what's reasonable, what's a pleasant luxury, and what is excess in a way that hurts me and others. I think I may need to draw away to the woods more often.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Self-Forgiveness
I seem to be so focused lately on the ways I fall short of my own ideals for myself. I want to be more organized, keep things cleaner, eat healthier, exercise more, be a better wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend... There are a lot of things that I want to improve. And I tell myself that it's okay - how boring would life be if I had everything figured out before I even turn 30 (which I will soon enough)? And what kind of unreasonable standard is it really to think I'll ever really be good at everything?
And yet I'm increasingly measuring myself by this impossible standard, and it's effecting the way I see myself and the people around me. How can I work to improve in all these areas while still being comfortable with myself the way I am... a work in progress with a long way to go, yes, but who's also already come a long way in so many different ways. I really need to lighten up.
That's part of what simplicity means to me, I think... simplifying my environment as a part of simplifying myself. I need to learn not to base my identity and my sense of self-worth on impossible standards. But when I feel like there's chaos all around me, and when I feel as though I'm failing in so many different ways, after a while it becomes all I can see.
So again several days have gone by with little progress or even effort, really. I'm just so tired that I've given myself permission (at least mentally) to take care of myself a bit better. As badly as I want to see the progress and have the work done, I just haven't be willing, or maybe even able, to actually do it.
And for now that's okay. Maybe the lesson right now is self-forgiveness and acceptance of my own faults.
And yet I'm increasingly measuring myself by this impossible standard, and it's effecting the way I see myself and the people around me. How can I work to improve in all these areas while still being comfortable with myself the way I am... a work in progress with a long way to go, yes, but who's also already come a long way in so many different ways. I really need to lighten up.
That's part of what simplicity means to me, I think... simplifying my environment as a part of simplifying myself. I need to learn not to base my identity and my sense of self-worth on impossible standards. But when I feel like there's chaos all around me, and when I feel as though I'm failing in so many different ways, after a while it becomes all I can see.
So again several days have gone by with little progress or even effort, really. I'm just so tired that I've given myself permission (at least mentally) to take care of myself a bit better. As badly as I want to see the progress and have the work done, I just haven't be willing, or maybe even able, to actually do it.
And for now that's okay. Maybe the lesson right now is self-forgiveness and acceptance of my own faults.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
What's it really about?
Today I've spent some time reading some websites that deal with organization, home management, clutter, etc. I don't think I'm ready to follow anyone else's plan very strictly (and thus, according to them, none of them will really work), but I read some things that have been helpful.
None of the places I was reading cover the whole picture of what I'm thinking about. It's not just about having a clean house. It's not just about being organized or trying to gain some sense of control. It's not just about having more time to spend doing what I enjoy, or being healthier, but rather a combination of these things. It's also about being a responsible citizen of the world... trying to learn to consume less and give more. It's not just about having a healthier body but a healthier spirit, and soul. I've gotten some ideas and motivation from these others, who have probably helped a lot of people, but none of them is really talking about exactly what I mean.
So I'm continuing to take it in small pieces, trying to have reasonable expectations, make a little progress everyday. Tonight I'm tackling the cleaning cabinet in the kitchen which has been bothering me for a while. It's kind of funny to clean the cleaning cabinet, but I'm hoping that an easier to use cleaning cabinet will make it a bit more manageable to clean in general.
More than specific projects, I'm thinking tonight about my motivation in all of this. In one of the websites I was reading she talked about blessing your family with your efforts. I so rarely think of it that way. That clean dishes and clothes are a gift to my family... that I do this to make our lives a little more comfortable, healthier, etc. I think so often in my head it's about meeting some standard, so that I and other people will think I'm a good wife, mother, person. Perhaps that's why I get so emotional about some of this... I'm assessing my own value based on my performance in some way. So in addition to wanting to make some changes in my habits or the way my apartment looks, I also need to make some changes in the way I think.
None of the places I was reading cover the whole picture of what I'm thinking about. It's not just about having a clean house. It's not just about being organized or trying to gain some sense of control. It's not just about having more time to spend doing what I enjoy, or being healthier, but rather a combination of these things. It's also about being a responsible citizen of the world... trying to learn to consume less and give more. It's not just about having a healthier body but a healthier spirit, and soul. I've gotten some ideas and motivation from these others, who have probably helped a lot of people, but none of them is really talking about exactly what I mean.
So I'm continuing to take it in small pieces, trying to have reasonable expectations, make a little progress everyday. Tonight I'm tackling the cleaning cabinet in the kitchen which has been bothering me for a while. It's kind of funny to clean the cleaning cabinet, but I'm hoping that an easier to use cleaning cabinet will make it a bit more manageable to clean in general.
More than specific projects, I'm thinking tonight about my motivation in all of this. In one of the websites I was reading she talked about blessing your family with your efforts. I so rarely think of it that way. That clean dishes and clothes are a gift to my family... that I do this to make our lives a little more comfortable, healthier, etc. I think so often in my head it's about meeting some standard, so that I and other people will think I'm a good wife, mother, person. Perhaps that's why I get so emotional about some of this... I'm assessing my own value based on my performance in some way. So in addition to wanting to make some changes in my habits or the way my apartment looks, I also need to make some changes in the way I think.
Monday, June 21, 2010
2 Steps Forward, 1 Back?
Friday night I was so proud of myself. Instead of going according to my original plan and cleaning a kitchen cabinet, I recommended that my husband get out a box or two from storage that he thought we should go through. We went through 2 boxes labeled "decorative items" that we hadn't even opened since we moved in 4 years ago. (I'm not not much of a decorator I guess.) No pressure on the things with sentimental value or anything I was feeling indecisive about. But we still put together a box of stuff to take to the second hand store and condensed the two boxes into one. Pretty good progress.
But for a variety of reasons this weekend my discipline and motivation fell apart. Not only did I not make any progress but I didn't really do all the normal everyday chores either. It's not the end of the world or anything but it's frustrating that it seems either I'm moving forward or I'm moving backward.
So now I'm trying to gather a bit of motivation and energy to get the week off to a little better start. It's getting late and I should probably think about going to bed soon, but if I can at least do some basic cleaning up maybe I'll be more encouraged and motivated when I get up tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
But for a variety of reasons this weekend my discipline and motivation fell apart. Not only did I not make any progress but I didn't really do all the normal everyday chores either. It's not the end of the world or anything but it's frustrating that it seems either I'm moving forward or I'm moving backward.
So now I'm trying to gather a bit of motivation and energy to get the week off to a little better start. It's getting late and I should probably think about going to bed soon, but if I can at least do some basic cleaning up maybe I'll be more encouraged and motivated when I get up tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
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